


The Art of Apology

by shsl_selfloathing



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, But its kinda in a weird way, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, For those of you coming from my Ig-, Izuru is trying., Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, Komaeda Nagito As The Servant, M/M, Monaca dipped, Nasty, Semi Violent, Servant has Plushies, Servant is kinda ooc because crybaby, Stitches, Tears, They're married. They just don't know it yet, angsty, but its understandable I'd cry too, girl me too honestly... This is not a good environment for children, tag yourself: I'm servant's weird homoerotic undertones, yes. this is the fic with the plushy., you'll figure it out - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:42:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24975538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shsl_selfloathing/pseuds/shsl_selfloathing
Summary: For the first time, Izuru experiences separation anxiety. He's not as good at dealing with it as he is at throwing people.
Relationships: Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 5
Kudos: 202
Collections: Mixed_Fics





	The Art of Apology

Usually, Izuru was incredibly collected, to a fault even. But for whatever reason, today was different. Maybe it was that he had slept in, missing Servant as he left for his duties as a remnant. But, from the moment he woke up alone, till this evening he had been incredibly on edge. Like anything could make him snap. Whether it was anger or fear. He didn’t know, there was nothing that could be causing either of those. He didn’t know this emotion.

He browsed his and Servant’s library. As usual, he was incredibly bored. His fingers traced the spine of a book labeled, _“Guide to Emotional Intelligence”_ He grabbed onto it, pulling it out slightly. His eyes wandered down the shelf

He released the book he had grabbed, leaving it pulled out further than the others. The raven took long powerful strides down the row of shelves, his hair elegantly flowing behind him. He stopped at the “M” shelves. His crimson eyes quickly ran across the book’s spines, landing on one.

_“Mathematics of Love”_

…

“I’m home!~” Servant announced himself as he entered through the large door. He glanced around with a smile. “Kam-u-kur-a-sa-ma!” He called cheerfully. No answer came, as usual, but he at least expected to hear the sound of Izuru’s dress shoes on the floor. 

Servant slipped out of his shoes, heading straight for Izuru’s bedroom. He knocked on the door. Still no answer. He sighed, carefully opening the door, “Kamukura sa-! hm…” the light was out, the bed empty, and messy.

Closing the door, the fluffy-haired boy began his search. 

He searched just under half the rooms in the mansion before arriving at the library. His chain swayed as he peeked around the corner of a shelf. His face lit up upon seeing the Ultimate Hope standing at a shelf with an open book. His back towards Servant. 

The chained boy bounced excitedly, running up behind his beloved Izuru. “Kamukura-sama!” He cheered, throwing his arms around the boy’s shoulders as usual. 

However, before he had a chance to actually embrace the boy; a strong grip squeezed around his wrist, nearly crushing it. He was twisted and thrown halfway across the library, into a table. 

Servant yelped in pain as a sharp and brutal pain shot through both his thighs. Luckily, his head narrowly avoided hitting the table, but his back and wrist would definitely have bruising. 

But physical pain wasn’t something he minded. He pushed his upper body up from the ground, staring in shock and pain at Izuru. The boy’s ruby eyes stared back, with the same cold glare that Izuru held with most things. 

They stared at each other for a few seconds before the white-haired boy clumsily forced himself to his feet, the pain in his thighs not doing him any favors. 

“Don’t startle me.”

Servant turned away, folding his arms anxiously. “I’m sorry Kamukura-sama.” He began to limp away, as Izuru simply watched, his eyes following the stumbling boy.

He sighed as Servant left the library. He turned back to the open book in his hand folding the page corner and returning it to the shelf. 

He thought for a quick moment before striding off to another bookshelf.

...

Servant felt his lip quiver. He didn’t know why he trusted that Izuru would never throw him. He had no reason to. It was a pretty major habit of his. Servant couldn’t think of one person, other than him, that Izuru hadn’t thrown. But it wasn’t like it was a promise they had, so it was only a matter of time.

He whimpered as he reached his bedroom. Looking down at himself, He noticed fresh pink-toned stains in his jeans. He undid the jeans, dropping them off his legs. He looked down at the open wounds on his thighs, stitches ripped and the healing disrupted as the gashes split open again.

He fiddled with the torn stitching that Izuru had graciously done for him. Sniffling his tears back, he fetched a sewing kit from under his bed. Sitting on top of the mattress he let himself bleed out as he searched through the kit. Grabbing the first needle he found he pulled out some thread. His hands quaked wildly as he tried to thread the needle.

Trying to calm himself didn’t work either, it only made him think more about Izuru’s actions. Soon, there were too many tears behind his eyes for him to hold back. They began to fall down his cheeks as he whined and whimpered.

He pinched at the torn stitches desperately trying to tie them back together. The immense pain didn’t help stop his weeping. But he tried to keep as quiet as possible.

He felt like a fool. He was a fool. How could he ever believe he was truly special to Kamukura. He’s no different from anyone else. No, that’s not right. He’s worse. Nothing but a plaything that filthily idolized Kamukura. The only reason Kamukura stayed around him was because that’s where he had ended up, likely because of his luck. 

He picked up the needle again, managing to thread it this time. He pushed it to the skin around the wound. A wince slipped his lips as it punctured his skin. He breathed heavily, as he pushed it deeper into his flesh. 

He whined and screamed quietly as he attempted to curve the needle up and back to the surface of his skin. The pain was immense but screaming and crying would be loud, and alert Izuru. Not that he’d actually care. 

He balled up a chunk of his sweater biting it in his teeth. He never liked being gaged, but he didn’t have many other options. Tears streamed down, falling onto his bleeding thighs as he managed to make one stitch. Messily tying it off, he pressed the needle back to his skin.

He whimpered and screamed, tears clouding his vision. He couldn’t believe this was caused by his beloved Izuru. 

The same man he desperately clung onto every night. The man that had progressed to subtly holding onto him as well. Even running his hands up and down Servants back on occasion, or pulling him closer as he twirled white hairs on his finger.

His thoughts were interrupted with his screams as he managed to finish half of the current stitch, his hands shaking wildly. He panted for air, whines, and whimpers echoing through the room. His noises drowning out the sound of the door creaking open. 

There was silence for a few moments as the door calmly shut. 

“You’re bleeding.”

Servant breathed heavily, nodding quickly as he lined the needle back up to his skin. 

“I’m sorry.” Izuru’s voice was monotone as always, and lacking any kind of sincerity or feeling.

Shaking his head Servant dropped the sweater from his mouth. “Don’t apologize Kamukura- sama.”

The raven hissed scornfully. “Why not?”

“Because you’re not sorry.”

Izuru’s dress shoes clicked against the flooring as he walked to Servant’s side. “I am.” He threw a med kit onto the bed.

“How can you be sorry?” Servant sniffled, rubbing his nose. “You don’t have to pretend you're sorry. I’m not mad.” 

It was true. He wasn’t mad. How could he be mad at Izuru for something so inevitable, something he did to everyone? How could he be mad at Izuru, ever?

“I’m sorry,” Izuru repeated, his voice still void of emotion. 

Servant didn’t look up from his legs “Kamukura-sama, stop it I know your not-”

“I am sorry.”

Servant said nothing. He put his needle down gripping his hands into fists, he shook. “Then why? Why are you sorry? What are you feeling that makes you think you’re sorry?” He spat. “You’re not feeling anything…"

Izuru silently stared down at the boy on the bed. He watched as Servant reached back for the needle that laid on his thigh. The raven caught his wrist. “Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Servant continued to press the needle to his skin. Izuru growled, “You’re doing it wrong.” He spoke, prying Servant’s fingers from the needle and pulling his hand away roughly. 

Servant’s breath hitched, as he shook in Izuru’s grasp. “I love Kamukura-sama…” He rambled. Those words were his worst habit. “I love y-you…” He whimpered. He never heard them back, and he never would, but it didn’t hurt. If it did hurt, he wouldn’t know, his mind was fucked. He didn’t know if he loved despair or hated it. “I love Kamukura-sama…”

“You’re going to let me do your stitches. Understand?”

“Yes… yes sir…”

Izuru dropped Servant’s wrist. Reaching for his chain out of habit. As his fingers felt around the links, he always felt powerful doing so. It was an emotion he usually liked, but something about it was starting to feel pathetic. 

He let go of the chain, letting it fall against Servant’s chest. His hand subconsciously moving to gently turn Servant’s chin up, examining his misty green eyes. Those eyes were two of many things about Servant that he knew he liked. They were rather pleasant in his own eyes.

“Are you crying?”

Servant whimpered, attempting to turn his head down. Unfortunately, Izuru held his face strongly in place.

“Why?”

Servant looked away from Izuru’s ruby eyes. Izuru freed his chin, sitting down beside him. He moved Servant’s hand and mitten from his lap and quickly examined the damage. 

“It hurts…” Servant replied. “That’s it…”

Izuru watched the boy's face, his brows furrowed and his eyes tense. He didn’t dare look Izuru in the eye, and his cheeks were a bright red tone.

“You’re a horrible liar.”

“I’m not ly-”

“Stop talking.”

Servant followed the order.

“You’re too loud.”

“Yes sir…”

Oddly, Servant caught a glimpse of emotion on Izuru as he swallowed roughly, his brows furrowing. The raven opened the medkit next to him. Swiftly tying two tourniquets just above the deep wounds on Servant’s thighs.

He slipped on a pair of gloves, picking up the bloody fabric needle Servant had used. He moved it away from the wound, pulling the thread out of Servant’s flesh. The white-haired boy whined in pain. “Kamukura-sama that hurts.”

“Of course it hurts.”

Servant whimpered sadly, causing the long-haired boy to glare at him. The chained boy had a pout on his face. “It really really hurts.” He shook his legs, prompting Izuru to quickly pin them down by the hips. 

“Do I have to tie you down for this?” He hissed, knowing damn well Servant wouldn’t mind being tied up all that much.

“Please…?” Servant tinted his head with a purr. 

“You’re disgusting.”

“I know Kamukura-sama.~”

Izuru ignored the boy’s delusional twisted flirting, grabbing an alcohol wipe from the kit. Without warning, he pressed it to Servant’s bloodied skin. The boy yelped, his hands holding onto a chunk of Izuru’s hair. His legs squeezed together.

“Hold still.”

“Kamukuraaa sammaaa…” Servant whined, tears running down his cheeks as Izuru cleaned the wounds.

Izuru groaned, annoyed at the albino’s childishness. Servant clung onto his hair tangling it in his fingers as he held onto it for comfort. Red eyes wandered to the head of Servant’s bed.

Two large plush animals sat up against the neatly arranged pillows. A white floppy-eared bunny and a fluffy pale blonde dog.

Memories flooded back of the time Servant had begged him to steal them for him. Well… actually, he had only begged for the dog, the bunny, Izuru had found and brought home on his own free will. He still didn’t know exactly why, but it reminded him of the boy, and he hoped Servant’s thankful reaction would bring him some entertainment.

As for the other, there was no reason to resist when Servant stared at it on a trip to the store for looted groceries. Which was soon followed by childish and relentless begging to take it home with them.

Izuru reached over, grabbing the dog. He handed it to Servant, who quickly latched onto it. Its face was simple, Two sewn dots as eyes, a heart nose, and a small fabric pink tongue. It’s ears, legs and tail flopped with whatever direction gravity puppeteered them. 

“She’s gonna get bloody…” Servant mumbled, holding the plush off his lap.

“It’s fine,” Izuru replied coldly. “I’ll clean her well.”

Servant whined lightly with a smile, holding the dog close to him for comfort. Izuru undid the new stitches, as well as removing the old and broken ones. He gathered supplies and began his work. 

Servant tensed as Izuru fed the curved needle through his flesh. His breath hitches and tears escaped his eyes. His hands clung onto the dog plush.

“You’re doing great.” 

“I-is that praise?”

“It’s comfort.”

Servant whined, throwing his head to the side. The long-haired boy growled. “Enough of that. You’re acting like a child.”

“I can’t help it! I’m in pain!”

Izuru looked into Servant’s foggy eyes. Tears on his cheeks. He brought a hand up, wiping the tears from his red cheeks. Servant gazed at Izuru in amazement. “Kamu… kura sa…”

“That’s enough crying. Tears make your face less pleasing.”

Servant whined, nuzzling his face into Kamukura's hand. “I love you… I love Kamukura-sama…”

“Quiet down. I know already.” Izuru hesitantly pried his hand from Servant's face. He resumed the stitches, occasionally glancing up to see Servant’s teary eyes and quivering lip. His arms wrapped around the dog tightly.

“Why are you not crying as much?”

“huh?”

“Before I came in here, you were wailing. It hurt my ears.”

Servant smiled, “Well it doesn’t hurt as much now! Besides, Kamukura-sama told me to stop crying! So of course I followed his order!”

”Hm…” Izuru hummed. “What else?”

“There’s nothing else! That’s everything!”

Izuru grumbled. He looked up into Servant's eyes. “don’t lie to me.”

Servant looked away, prompting Izuru to grab onto the base of his chain. He yanked on it, forcing Servant to look back in his eyes. “You’re going to tell me the truth.”

Strangely, Servant resisted the grip on his chain. He looked down away from Izuru’s eyes. “It’s… It’s shameful.”

Izuru growled, tugging on the chain before he released it. He tied off the last stitch on Servant’s right leg, moving to the next.

Servant sorrowfully watched as Izuru threaded a new needle, and changed his gloves.

Izulu sighed, gathering his thoughts “My chest was tight today.”

“That doesn’t sound good…” 

“It wasn’t. It was very unpleasant. My head and face felt tight too. I was constantly on edge. My legs shook, shamefully, a lot.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was odd. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Servant went silent. His fingers fiddling with the plush dog’s ear. “That is… odd…”

“I didn’t know why, I thought I may be sick but there’s no virus that makes you think of someone.”

Izuru tied off the first stitch going silent for a few seconds. “I missed you.”

“Oh…” Servant uttered, his breathy voice shaking. “So… why… why did you throw me…?” He muttered as Izuru resumed work on his legs.

Izuru didn’t answer, he stayed silent as he focused on the stitches. “That was your lie.”

Servant scoffed lightly. “I’m sorry… It’s rather shameful.” 

“Yeah. You shouldn’t lie to me.”

“Ah- that's not what I’m talking about, but yes.” Servant held Colver closer, burying his face in her head. “I… don’t know why, but I trusted you’d never throw me like that. I don’t know why I thought I was special, I’m surprised it took this long.” 

“I’m sorry…” He muttered, “I got a big head.” He laughed lightly.

Staying silent, Izuru continued sewing quick stitches. Servant watched as he tied off each one with ease. 

When he reached the last one, he gave no cues that he was done with Servant. No sigh, no dismissal. He cleaned up the area, wrapping the stitches so as to protect them.

Servant stood up, ready to leave his room for whatever chore he had on his mind. “Thank you, Kamu-” 

“You can’t leave yet.”

“Wh-what…?”

“You heard me.”

Servant nodded lightly. Gracefully sitting back down beside Izuru. He waited patiently for whatever Izuru wanted from him. 

The long-haired male stared at the wall ahead of him. “You are special.”

“I… don’t understand.” Servant laughed awkwardly 

“You thought it once. You can think it again. You’re special to me.”

“B-but that’s-!”

“It’s not big-headed if it’s true.”

Izuru looked up, meeting eyes with Servant. “If I had realized it was you. I would have never thrown you.”

He took a deep breath softening his face and voice as much as he could, he grasped Servant’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll never hurt you again.”

Izuru’s dead, empty eyes stared deep into Servant's soul. 

“I don’t like how I shook when you were away. I don’t like how my body felt when I was the one who hurt you.” He did his best to express his thoughts on his face.

“Kamukura-sama…”

Izuru pulled him in for a light kiss. “Do you ever say anything else?” He spoke before softly kissing Servant's dolly lips again. 

Servant picked up on a feeling through the kiss. It wasn’t anger or annoyance, as Izuru usually naturally gave off. 

“I already know my name.” 

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t make me kiss you again.”

Servant hummed and stroked his hand across Izuru’s thigh. “Is that teasing from my dear Kamukura-sama~?” He purred.

“It’s a simple demand.” 

Servant whined, climbing over Izuru. He wrapped himself around the male’s body, one thigh on his lap, the other behind him. He nuzzled his face against Izuru’s cheek. “You’re no fun…” He purred, nipping on The raven’s ear. 

“Get off,” Izuru spoke, earning a whine of defiance. “You need to heal. Get off.”

Servant whined, falling back onto the mattress. “I’m sorry… Please forgive me...”

Izuru stood up. “Apology accepted.” He threw his blazer to the side. “My body needs to rest.”

“Ah… I see.” Servant sighed, sitting up, he went to stand up before he was pushed back. “Stay put.” 

Servant’s cheeks flushed, as Izuru pinned him down by the shoulders. But just as he thought he would be properly used, Izuru pulled off. “You also need rest, stay, and sleep.” 

“Hmmmm….” Servant whined. “But I’m still in my clothes.” He pushed himself back against the headboard, keeping eye contact with Izuru. He was met with a folded shirt and an extra pair of boxers thrown in his face.

“That’s enough begging. Get ready for bed.” 

Izuru disappeared out the door, leaving Servant alone in his bed. “What a shame.” The albino huffed, pulling himself from the bed. He picked up the clothes thrown to him, moving to the on-suite bathroom to wash up and change.

…

The door swung open. The remnant’s room was dark, yet, Izuru had no trouble finding his way to the opposite side of the bed. He flicked on a dim light. Looking down at the sleeping boy. His hair was all a mess of fluffy curls, spread on his pillow. His pale lashes laid over his red under eyes. 

The Ultimate hope set a book down on the nightstand, tossing freshly cleaned Clover onto the mattress. Any hint of blood was gone from her fabric, on top of that she smelled of fresh morning dew laundry, instead of the strange, putrid scent of old honey that Servant reeked of. He tucked his legs under the comforter. 

_“The Art of Apology,”_ Picking up the book he opened the cover to where he left off. His ruby eyes stayed on the words, wandering to Servant’s sleeping body in between pages. Soon, his fingers wandered as well, subconsciously lacing with white strands. The petting earned Izuru a breathy noise from the sleeping boy. 

Izuru quickly completed the book, a yawn fell from his lips into his hand. Setting the book aside, He cut the light, laying flat on his back. He stared up at the ceiling.

Minutes passed and soon it had been a long, boring hour. He came to a conclusion for his fast-beating heart and lack of sleep. 

He looked over to his peacefully resting servant. Turning on his side, he pulled himself closer to the boy. With a light tap of the shoulder, green eyes fluttered open slightly. Servant smiled lightly, a small hum passing his lips as he squirmed closer to Izuru. His arms wrapped around his waist, hands lightly holding onto his hair. “Kamukura-”

“Sleep.”

**Author's Note:**

> They do be kinda toxic- BUT THEY ARE TRYING. OK.


End file.
